Whom to Blame for Your Neuroses

1. your parents, the obvious choice

2. the significant other who bought you a gym membership for your birthday

3. your arch-nemesis (just because)

4. catholic schooling

5. your seventh grade math teacher who used to give you weird looks

6. your ballet instructor who was always going on about “derrieres”

7. your ex(es)

8. that jerk who sat behind you in second grade

9. the spice girls (for pointing out that you must ‘spice up your life,’ thus confirming it isn’t spicy enough already)

10. me (because i’m better than you, not to rub it in)


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