On Communication

only acceptable reasons for you to not respond to my text/call/gchat/fb wall posting/etc. within an  hour:

1. you are on an international flight (though you should have brought me  with you)

2. your phone is at the bottom on the atlantic, pacific or indian ocean

3. you are in a coma (though i probably should have been notified… why am i not your emergency contact?!?!)

4. you have amnesia (though i know that even in this state you could never forget  me, you may forget how to use a cell phone)

5. you have alexia (look it up)

6. you’re being held hostage and they’ve taken your cell phone

7. i am sitting next to you

8. we’re currently in the midst of the apocalypse (on second though, you should be desperately trying to reach me in this situation)

9. you’re performing live on broadway

10. you are dead

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