How to Entertain Yourself at Your Arch-Nemesis’ Party

1. bring along that stack of new yorkers you’ve been meaning to catch up on. curl up on the couch and start in.

2. laugh raucously at all the hilarious cartoons in the new yorker. show them to everyone (literally) and when people don’t laugh, lecture them about their political apathy/ignorance.

3. rant for 30 minutes to an hour about how little young people know about the world they live in.

4. cry/throw a tantrum to really drive your point home.

5. make a very loud statement that you will be voting independent going forward, and that anyone who votes otherwise will now be “dead to you.”

6. take a well-deserved nap on the floor, preferably in front of the fridge where all the beer is being kept.

7. invite your astrophysicist friend and then your astrologist friend. proceed to begin a lively debate on the topic of star signs.

8. cut and then paint your toe nails while watching the star wars play out.

9. spill nail polish all over the floor

10. when guests leave, offer all of your arch-nemesis’ possesions as party favors.

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2 Responses to How to Entertain Yourself at Your Arch-Nemesis’ Party

  1. Brother Ben says:

    is it a problem that I do #3 on all nearly all social occasions?

  2. a man after my own heart

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