When too lazy/cheap/early to order delivery, consider some of these non-conventional breakfast options:

1. paperwork (full of fiber – i think? – and will make your workload that much lighter)

2. feeling low on iron? try a paper clip or two

3. if you’re looking for a more psychadelic breakfast, there are always glue or sharpies to nibble on

4. for an anorexic breakfast, there’s water (boooorrriinnnggg)

5. pens, pencils, highlighters… in times of desperation you could think of them as popsicles perhaps

6. for the hangover, there are many options: fat coke, coconut water, real water, bloody marys… most likely you were too drunk last night to purchase these items in preparation though. this is a very serious dilemma that will lead you to swear off drinking (at least for the next few hours until you get your hands on a tasty fat coke)

7. tears… if things really get that desperate

8. if you own any plants, you’re in luck. you can actually eat those – i think – generally… depending on the plant…

9. for a trip down memory lane, try a bar of *fucking* soap

10. coffee counts as food if you drink enough of it, though this may have some horrible side affects (such as actually eating any of the things on this list)

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5 Responses to When too lazy/cheap/early to order delivery, consider some of these non-conventional breakfast options:

  1. shawn says:

    What’s fat coke? I think i want one.

  2. Sam says:

    Good to hear that you’re taking care of yourself over there.

  3. dracoling says:

    If you have the scented markers or crayons you can pretend you’re enjoying delicious fruit flavored popsicles (like the highlighters, but with happy smells).

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