Monthly Archives: February 2011

How to Entertain Yourself at Your Arch-Nemesis’ Party

1. bring along that stack of new yorkers you’ve been meaning to catch up on. curl up on the couch and start in. 2. laugh raucously at all the hilarious cartoons in the new yorker. show them to everyone (literally) … Continue reading

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How You Know You’ve Made a Good Decision

1.you made the decision quickly and/or on a whim (*see #8) 2.you declared at least twice in the process of making said decision that you’re “not even drunk,” thus proven your state of inebriation – as there is no reason … Continue reading

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How to be a Hipster: Lesson 1

there is a direct correlation between coolness and lateness. it goes something like this: the later you are, the cooler you must be. i will refer to this state of mind as ICT (ironic central time). ICT is always a … Continue reading

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A Hipster Prepares (for the Apocalypse)

1. determine when the apocalypse will happen. if you made 2/15 more interesting, you’d have already accomplished this. 2. print a bunch of flyers announcing the upcoming judgement day. you’ll feel much better about yourself if you feel like you’ve … Continue reading

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Job Posting

looking for a java software developer with both design experience and a sense of humor. prefer at least 2 years experience and those over 5’8. must be able to carry conversation, select great wines, appreciate my friends and laugh at … Continue reading

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Ways to Improve Your Tuesday

1. go to a starbucks and demand “where is my fucking latte!” if you make a big enough scene, no one will realize you never ordered a latte to begin with 2. wear a funny hat. i highly suggest one … Continue reading

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A World Without Caffeine…

week 1: fall asleep at work. get reprimanded week 2: fall asleep on way to work. get reprimanded for being late week 3: fall asleep at work again. procure meth, crack and/or cocaine after work to use as caffeine alternative … Continue reading

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